I''ve been told I need to blog... and I feel somehow it's true. If it weren't for the source of this advice, I most probably wouldn't listen. However, it's myself. My own mind and intuition has been telling me that perhaps a blog is where the you NOW fits into the web world.
Almost a decade ago, only a few years into my career as a professional photographer, before facebook and instagram and snapchat and twitter, I started a blog. It was when myspace was THE thing to do - the only thing outside of a website - a place where one could connect words and their very own thoughts with their work. A marriage of sorts: between my website filled with work and only a handful of words written for our target audience and the 100% personal side of myspace (which didn't last for long- it felt sort of empty and weird spending time there). I enjoyed blogging then, at first. But I'd allowed it to evolve into another business obligation. Filled with keywords and tags as the world of blogging turned into a secondary business obligation website of sorts. After a few years, and with the birth of facebook and the new need to create a business facebook page took priority, in addition to adding kids to my personal life, my blog was left to fall away into internet oblivion.
Over the last several years, like every other person within our world, I have changed and evolved, as has my wants and needs in both my career, role as a parent, as well as my involvement within the social media world.
My spiritual journey throughout 2016 & 2017 has been by far my greatest and most wonderful ACCIDENTAL personal achievement! As more time passes in our life, we realize all of those cliche words of wisdom have become cliche for a reason! "You have to fall ALL the way down to realize all you are and all you have. There lies determination, ambition, the TRUE addictive feeling of compassion and what your strengths and loves in life really are." (Or something like that.)
I've found mine. I've found a bountiful amount of it all! Gratitude has become my BACKBONE of daily living... and I'm so thankful for it!!! ;)
I say all this to communicate my interesting observation: As I "dropped off the social media earth" which was a natural act as I'd retreated into myself during the second part of 2016, I found even more of myself. "The power was within you all along... you just have to FIND it." Yep. That's the damned truth too! The guidance & advice we seek, the push to become "unstuck" in certain chapters of our lives, our true wants and goals in every subject of our daily and yearly lives.... all of those answers are ALWAYS with us! It's a matter of allowing enough stillness, enough self-interest and opening our ears wide ENOUGH to listen to our own hearts... to hear the answers we spend countless hours and dollars looking everywhere else in the world for.
So... the question is: Have I gone deep enough, practiced that daily long enough to be able to now come "out" enough to be able to blog?
Can I take what I THOUGHT was the definition of blogging and truly redefine it enough to make it my own? Can I allow a blog to be only what I'd love for it to be? Can a commercial photographer, business owner, mother of two, shape this space within the web world to be what I love enough to dedicatedly allow words to flow and connect it back to my images I continue to create in a way where I'm no longer "dropped off the social media world map"? But staying within myself and my own thoughts as to keep the sacred love and beauty of thoughts and connections not fully connected to a facebook-esque look-at-what-I-think side of expression?
The inner me says yes.
The artist within me constantly battles with not ever hitting "publish" on something until it's perfect. Just right. No weird rambles. No misspellings or areas where the reader/viewer may become bored. "Maybe I should proofread it one more time" I'd think - while awake in the middle of the night - before posting... "Or perhaps I'll just scratch the whole thing and start over and I'll share THEN."
But who says this blog has to be that too?! It's a struggle within myself AGAINST MYSELF. And maybe the blog is just enough in the middle- between my website and my talkative happily scatterbrained personality I am in person- to ALLOW the mistakes, the rambles, and the thoughts to just..... FLOW.
And... I still read and re-read... but I posted! ;) #Babysteps